George Carlin’s Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about
aging that you think in fractions.
‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a
half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key
You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next
number, or even a few ahead.
‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna
be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the
words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad
milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a
sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes,
it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are
gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day
thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you
TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you
start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
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Contributor's Note
Just had to put this in as I was a huge fan
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